Confessions of an aspiring alcoholic

All good stories start with alcohol. Or so we think. But they definitely create memories one would laugh upon when they look at it after some time. That’s because you do a lot of stupid shit that actually makes you feel like killing yourself for being such an idiot, so definitely you can only laugh at it after some time has passed and the actual details have subsided, only the memory remains.

For a noob who definitely didn’t have a lot of alcohol before, I overdid it this time definitely. So the story begins with me losing my senses after having alcohol a little out of my capacity (i.e. the capacity for the time being) with emphasis on “for the time being” since you can very much grasp the motive from the title of the post. Why is it not a good thing? Well, if you have been so sensible your entire life that you can’t bear looking stupid, then you will definitely be in a state of shock especially when you don’t remember shit and somebody has to tell you what you did last night with them emphasizing on your stupid acts within the quotes. “You spilled coffee on me and I just wanted to slap you since that coffee was bought from Starbucks! Yes, double quotes, Starbucks!” And funnily, I have no memory of Starbucks, not even any vague hint of going there.

So, I will definitely skip the part that appears a little embarrassing to be told. Not like embarrassing kind of embarrassing, more like what an introvert would call embarrassing and they usually find a lot of things embarrassing. No more usage of the word embarrassing. Duh-uh!

Anyways! The story began with me spilling stuff, falling (apparently a lot of falling).

Now for someone who is a giant and is also drunk, the people accompanying have a hard time. Why? Well, they are not even close to being giant and trying to handle me must have been one hell of a task. I remember this person telling me at that moment that this is why he tells me to run. Seriously, out of all things this is what I remember. Also, because this is like this person’s favorite topic. My weight! Another favorite topic is how I look much older than my age. *sigh*

I was really concerned about the other guy’s happiness apparently. I seemed to have shouted “I want you to be happy” and then banged the table. How idiotic! It is such a pain to listen to your crap once when you are like sober. I so feel I should have been drunk when these stories were being told. See, that’s where you need alcohol. Like really need it.

So finally they booked a cab and one of them dropped me at a friend’s place. I am not going to bring the “crying” part here because I really don’t want to believe it. None of it ever happened. That’s how you console yourself.

Thanks to the friend who allowed me inside her home. I have no memory of how she must have helped me walk till there. She is too frail for a giant like me.

She tells me I was restless and blabbered random shit. When she asked me if I needed dinner, I told her that I just want to see her happy. Apparently, the only thought was to see everyone happy. I am so full of crap. It is one moment of enlightenment I would say.

Now that I have returned back to the normal introvert mode, I find it all so unbearable. I guess I will have another drink and wash away the memories that are already so hazy. But wait! What about the new ones that I will create? Well, all good stories start with alcohol. Or so we think.







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