I can’t let my child go

mother

 

He is ready to go overseas. He will be spending two years and probably settle down there. And I just can’t let him go.

As children, we were detached, we never could make peace with our parents being touchy all the time. We hated it. Every time I would leave for someplace, my mother would just start crying and not stop. I cannot tolerate people who cry, I mean how do you even handle them. And in any case, I would be back home only, that’s what I used to think, until today, when my kid is leaving.

This home is full of his memories. He would forcefully make me watch all his cartoons, I had to make him do his homework, he never did it alone. I had to sometimes run after him so he would eat something, he has always been such a trouble. Even now. He forgets to carry his ID sometimes, other times, he would just forget to take the money and then call me in need. He went to a trip for one month and got back home in such ill health and then wanted me to look after him. Such a child!

He will never grow up. I love the way he puts up that face where he acts like he’s independent and that he doesn’t need us anymore. And deep down in his heart, he is still that little kid who can cry very easily. He is still afraid of ghosts. Can you believe that?

It’s almost time for him to leave. He won’t cry. He has dreams to build, he has his life to live, he will go on, with or without us. But a part of him will remain in us and hopefully, he will carry a part of us wherever he goes. That will suffice.

And I will only hope that I won’t cry when he leaves, but then my mother did cry and probably, so will I. And he will know how much I love him when he has to let his children go, even if he doesn’t want that to happen.

I can’t let my child ago. Oh, but he is not a child anymore!

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