Tabula Rasa

I have been asked to visit my past, to go back in time
And somehow I tend to reach there
When and where
My love sublimed
They say I can erase the part I want to
And create a memory new
But now that I can trace the dots
I seem to have a clue
That maybe I am happy about the heartbreak I suffered once
And I am content for failing that interview
I am proud of the injuries I had
And the rough times I went through
For what I’ve earned after all this time
Is worth more than what I had when my love sublimed
And for some reasons I will never have that blank slate
Something I wanted so desperately
When love turned into hate
I have visited that place often and it seems very near
But I guess with what I now have
I never want to go there.

How much a heart can hold

A little, a lot, or not at all
that’s how love will be
Not knowing its own depths
and sometimes too blind to see
yours.

Many words will convey
many will fail to tell
How hard it is to hold back
how hard to accept I fell.

And maybe it won’t be known
either to you or me
whether I love you or not
will sometimes be a mystery.

For when a heart learns to hold another
without breaking it
or leaving it cold
that’s a love none has ever measured
nor even poets could tell
how much that heart can hold.

When they ask you to let go of me

I clutched hard, holding tight the string that tied us,
they warned me it will break,
yet I couldn’t resist putting all my effort
not for you, but my own sake.

They asked me to let go of you,
to break the bond that had kept us together
And though I was prepared to see you go
I chose to hold onto you rather.

No, it wasn’t a mistake,
it was never about caging you,
It is a small voice inside me that says
that there can’t be another you.

But will you think the same
when they ask you to let go of me?
Will you clutch my hand the same way as I did
or just set me free.

Me-We-I

Me, a version unknown,
masked beneath a million lies,
truth rests, but not shown,
A version who hopes someone exists
to which it can reveal,
be touched where it has kept the hurt
and heal.

We, it was when I met you,
two characters still, but more strong,
with all buried hopes anew.

I, reduced to mere one character
when you left,
and I lost a piece,
a piece of “we” I had kept
and I was hell bent
on finding a journey new
trying to find me again
by eliminating you.

Who am I?

A soul breathing to live, with words her life
but who am I?
Am I a broken fragment of my lost past
or a wide-eyed woman afraid of future, aghast.

Am I light to the flickering hope
giving you a few reasons to cope
or am I the falling night
ready to take all you have
and leave you in strife.

Am I a fixed memory
or a passing phase
Am I as cold as the ice
or like the fire ablaze
Am I like the name written in sand
ready to be washed away by the tide
or Am I like the sun
that will never forget to rise.

Who am I?
I ask,
What of me will stay?
my deeds, my actions
or the poem I wrote that day.

The value of anything

I bought a book
In exchange for some money
It helped me live through rainy days
As well as sunny
But a day arrived
When I misplaced it on a trip
And well it could still be replaced
Buy the same title, everything is fixed.
However that was not the case with people
They don’t come with price tags
You can’t just replace one with the other
They’re not a passing fad.
Every thing will eventually go
Be it a book or a moment you try to seize
But the value of anything won’t be the price tag
But how you do without it
Think how you will do without it
When it leaves.

The night I met my fear

 

fear
Source: pinterest.com

 

It was a lonely night
when I met my fear
drenched in the worry of what will happen
my thoughts unclear
I shouted, fought, cried
allowing a stream of tears to fall
I knew when running or walking failed
I would need to crawl
to finally reach where I wanted to be
facing my worst fears
bearing the tragedy
to let light seep through the broken crevices
I will need to walk
and live to see the daylight.

Healing

I stretched out my hand
Hoping a hand will hold mine
And thus comfort me
Not knowing that my expectation
Was the biggest tragedy
Even a leaf of my favorite book
Could heal my heart
Or the lyrics of some song
Could help me restart
My happiness was even in that sunrise
But I chose to believe
Only one side
The side that looked for another hand
To hold mine.