In that one fleeting moment

From strangers to lovers
love flooded our hearts
healed the ruptures of past
my heart was full of him
his heart occupied with me
it was more than love
it still is a mystery
I don’t know what to call it
love, affection, infatuation, madness?
I try to describe this feeling
but can it be fitted in a sentence?

To find my answer
I looked into his eyes
and in that one fleeting moment
I had this one realisation
that I was his
he was mine.

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Puff of smoke

She is younger than I am
And she is holding a cigarette between her lips
She opens her mouth, takes a drag
Addicted to nothing but this
I do not worry so much about her
As for the people I love
But there is a thought
I cannot shove
I see a generation getting lost
In this puff of smoke
And I sit back while I watch them
Happy, their lungs choke
But is there anything I can do?

Selflessly selfish love

While it is easier said than done
I still wish to put in words
that sometimes love will be selfish
but dear o dear
there is no greater truth than this
that I have not had a bigger love
nor have I mastered the art of loving yet
so love is always there
but sometimes it will upset
for it doesn’t want to spend a moment without you
it suffers great agony
fear of what lies in future
the fear of tragedy
might show up and hurt sometimes
but there is no greater truth than this
love may seem selfish
but above all of this
is a never ending love I feel for you.

Hold my hand

I know sometimes you are surrounded by fears
and I know you can handle them alone
but when you go out to face your fears
when you traverse lands that are unknown
I will be there by your side
you always have my hand to hold
I know you don’t need it
you are strong on your own
but give me the privilege to hold it this time
let’s fight your battles together
when you are worn out
I will try to heal your hurt
no matter what happens
I will be there to keep you strong
hold my hand, hold my hand
let’s fight together from here on.

This too shall pass

The road is a long one
Don’t give up yet
I know it is frustrating
I know it disappoints you
That the road you chose
May not take you to your goal
Have patience, keep your calm in the storm
You will come out alive
Even though you will be worn out by the end
There will be a gift waiting for you
And you won’t feel so bad
About some bad decisions in your life
You will need to bear the result of your decisions
But they won’t last
Once you learn
That this too shall pass.

Reflection: A short (horror) story (Part 1)

It was a sunny afternoon. I was alone at my house, everyone else was out for a movie. Since I wanted some alone time, I decided to stay back and it was perhaps the worst choice I made that day.

There was no food in the house, so I ordered some. Estimated delivery time: 40 minutes. 

So I made myself comfortable in my bed. I was lying down scrolling through movies on Netflix. I chose to watch the Shining. 

30 minutes into the movie and I was struck by the hollowness of the horror. I couldn’t understand why it is so popular. So I gave up the idea and kept my laptop aside to read a book.  
I was expecting my order to be delivered by now. It had been 50 minutes. As soon as I called them, the doorbell rang. I was quite sure it was the food delivery guy, so I ended the call. 

The doorbell was pressed again, they seemed to be in hurry. I reached the door, it made a creaking sound and then it got stuck. I checked the door stopper, it was raised. While I was still looking at the door stopper, I noticed too much light coming in from the other end.  Someone had left the balcony door open and surprisingly I noticed it only now. 

Ignoring it for a while, I pushed open the main door. Whatever was blocking it was out of the way now. However, the delivery guy wasn’t there. No one was there. 

I stepped outside and looked around, I couldn’t notice anyone who could have rung the bell. There were some children playing but they were too far to have done it.

So I went back inside and decided to call them which is when I noticed that the balcony door was locked now. It was confusing. I remembered looking at the open door when I was checking the stopper. 

I called the restaurant to check on my order. They told me that my order was delivered. I got furious and asked them to check where the order has gone.

I went to the washroom to wash my face, I was flustered. While looking into the mirror, I started wiping my face with a towel which is when I noticed something strange.

There was a scar on the right side of my face. I was sure it was never there before. 

Then the reflection seemed to become hazy. The water wasn’t hot, it couldn’t be moisture. 

I noticed a movement in the background, it was being reflected on the glass surface. So I turned around but there was nothing. 

When I looked back into the mirror, the scar on my face was gone. The reflection was proper now, no longer hazy. I kept the towel back and turned around only to see myself standing behind me but she had a scar.

Deepest parts

Since the workshop I attended posed this challenge that we need to write on a regular basis whether or not we write well, I will be publishing a poem a day. Here is what I have written for today:

I do not love him like the sunflower loves the sun
nor do I love him like I want to
I love him but I hate him
I love him enough to see through
whatever he carries inside his heart
he doesn’t carry it on his sleeve
sometimes I am blinded by my expectations
but other times I can see
and I think he too faces the same dilemma
sometimes he might not be able to read
what my heart wants to say
even though I carry it on my sleeve
we cover hearts with the protection of our worth
not allowing enough to show outside
even when we know
love has seeped inside
into the deepest parts.

Anything is possible child

Your demons tell you that life won’t be fair
that you will not find what you are looking for
they will slowly consume you from within
because you are not so sure
of where life will take you next
because you are not holding life’s steering
you are afraid, you are scared
there is a strange feeling
that you will fail
that you will fall
that you are not standing on a solid ground
why do you fear so much
why should the hurt be so profound
look around and you will love
what you have in your hands
in this temporal life
everything is fading away like falling sand
why do you have to be so scared
go out with all you have and give a brave fight
anything is possible, everything is possible child
turn away from the dark, look at the light!

They ask me how much I love him

She spreads her arms wide
Asks me if I love him that much
Then she shrinks the space
And again questions my love
I use two fingers
And I hold them just a centimetre apart
She is surprised by the distance between my fingers
And asks
You love him only this much ?

I say
Start from my finger
Span the entire universe
And come back
The other finger is where you will land
That is exactly how much I love him.

Prayer

Some stood on their tiptoes
Some rolled on their backs
Some walked on fire
Some lashed themselves
Some sacrificed their own life
Some killed others
None of them
Had their prayers answered.

While the world was trying hard
God smiled and said
You try too hard
Too hard my friend
Bend down on your knees
And whisper
I’ll be able to hear you better that way.